i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
