I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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