I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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