Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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