I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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