Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
