ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
