saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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