so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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