Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize