The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
This beer is not sobering me up at all
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
