The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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