so I'm never txting u again after today...
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?