3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
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she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
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As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.