just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.