If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
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he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
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Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend