Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.