Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go