This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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