His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
