You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
