i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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