Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Drake has all the answers
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize