Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm jealous of your bromance
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
