So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
