I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
third nipple confirmed
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Randomize
