I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
