they said they heard you say put it in my butt
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
