You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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