after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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