She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
