You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
