im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
