They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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