I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize