Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
