Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
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