I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
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