You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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