I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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