I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
