Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize