For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
