i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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