Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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