If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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