something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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