i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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