god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
