can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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