and my herpes radar will keep us safe
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
