its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
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