ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
