Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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