The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
