K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
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