He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
