He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
