Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize