I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
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airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
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17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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