I look better un-naked...
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
