she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
i now understand why vodka
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
