the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
