So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
