It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
