So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
