Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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