why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Cover your peen. We're going out.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
