see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
